


The Reunion

by NB_Cecil



Series: Doctors and Lizards [7]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Ace!Garak... possibly?, Boundaries, But Bashir is lovely to him... So very lovely, But that’s ok because Bashir is a caregiver, Cardassians and Humans really are very different, Consent Discussion, Dialogue Heavy, Domestic Fluff, Feelings, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Garak is a needy old man, Garak is so broken, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Making Out, Past Abuse, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Post-A Stitch in Time - Andrew Robinson, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Cardassia, Self-Esteem Issues, Some miscommunication about personal boundaries but no actual abuse, Sort-Of Smut But Not Smut, Thoughts and Dialogue Only, Working Out Each Other's Boundaries, fluff (mostly), oh so many feelings, smut-ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 20:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16562390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NB_Cecil/pseuds/NB_Cecil
Summary: Post-A Stitch in Time Cardassia: Bashir and Garak’s first day together after Garak’s letter. (SeeThe Seven Types of Love...https://archiveofourown.org/works/16543718). Domestic fluff and feels, mostly.





	The Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> CW: alcohol; hints of past abuse; miscommunication about personal boundaries.

1- Elim Thinks

_No, I didn’t imagine it. He’s still here, curled up beside me... There’s something of that naïve young doctor I first approached in the replimat on_ DS9 _all those years ago still there in his face... so innocent... one wouldn’t think he’s seen all that he has... There are lines around his eyes now; yes, he has changed and grown... As have you, Elim. You should leave him be; he’s going to have a wicked hangover when he does wake... But I do so want to stroke his hair and kiss his cheek and have him smile sleepily at me... Perhaps a little, just along his hairline? Yes, he really is still deep asleep... And just one kiss on the forehead... Now let him sleep Elim, don’t be too selfish._

_Tea. Yes, that will help his hangover—I don’t feel so great myself either. Did we finish the bottle? Yes, I seem to recall we did... There’s a cool breeze and a fresh smell coming through the doorway... feels like it’s rained in the night. Up, Elim! Carefully—don’t disturb the dear Doctor. Jacket and shoes... Fetch wood for the stove from the pile out the back and water from the tap in the street. You’ll have to explain to Doctor Bashir about boiling it before drinking; he’s not used to our current standard of living... Ah yes, it has indeed been raining. The ground’s still wet and it’s washed some of the dust out of the air... The sun on my face... oh, that’s nice. Warms my cold blood._

_Careful! Stifle your coughing. You don’t want to wake the good Doctor—or worry him any more than necessary. Light the stove and fill the kettle... Oh, there’s not much tea left. Still, it’s not every day Doctor Bashir visits! You can be generous and put two spoons in the teapot... Red leaf—smells like childhood and simpler times._

_Yesterday was... nice, actually_ _,_ _despite our_ _misunderstanding_ _. I was so worried there wouldn’t be the same easy-going affinity between us after so long apart and after my uncharacteristic outburst of personal honesty. His reply to my letter was so short—almost terse—I couldn’t be sure he wasn’t on his way to yell at me... But it’s all ok! And while he doesn’t feel exactly the same about me as I do about him, there’s common ground and that’s enough._

_Ow, my head! Well, you only have yourself to blame Elim! You’re too old for that much kanar... How’s the kettle doing? Alright, not even warm yet. More time to think before I wake him... Yes, yesterday evening at the spaceport... His shuttle was delayed and just when I started thinking maybe he wasn’t coming after all, there was that 1000 kilowatt smile coming toward me and—oh—everything was more ok than it’s been for a long time._

_And he bought all those cases of Starfleet rations with him. He_ says _they’re so he doesn’t impose on you while he’s here, but there’s far more than one Human can eat in six weeks stacked up in the corner_... _You’d never have accepted if he’d called them a gift though. He knows you’re a proud old fool and you’re not going to admit to needing help, even when you go to bed hungry most nights. He really is very kind and quite cunning in his own way, your Doctor Bashir..._ My _Doctor Bashir? Is that what he is now...? Oh, I don’t know... not ‘my Doctor Bashir, the Doctor Bashir who belongs to me’, but ‘my Doctor Bashir, the Doctor Bashir who is associated with me’, perhaps? Yes... Does that make me his Elim Garak? I do hope so; I like that idea very much._

_On reflection, it would have been wise to do the talking before we opened the kanar. But sometimes Cardassians—and Humans—need a little help_ _to tell_ _each other their most intimate desires... Sitting beside him on my saggy old sofa, not touching—yet—I needed some—what’s that Human expression? Dutch courage?—to begin; to re-visit_ _i_ _n person what I wrote in my letter._

_You old fool, Elim. You’ve let him get too close; he’s seen the real you now and that means he can hurt the real you... That’s the spy talking! The Doctor was never like that! You’re too suspicious! People aren’t always_ _o_ _ut to hurt you and if you never take a risk, how will you know how they really feel? Really Elim, it’s high time you put that attitude aside and opened up a bit more, at least with Doctor Bashir._

_After our third glass we found the confidence to talk more-or-less frankly. We’re both good at hiding things—him behind his beguiling smile and me behind my habitual web of half-truths and lies... The kanar had awakened that longing for his touch I had written about in my letter, and I covered his hand with my own as we spoke. I explained again that Cardassians rarely feel_ Eros _, or romantic love, but that we do thrive on physical intimacy between close friends, and he nodded and squeezed my hand as he listened. He told me of his tendency in his younger days to fall in love over and over with a rarely reciprocated passion that burned bright but short-lived before he moved onto the next infatuation, and I listened as I watched the flickering flame of the stove, resting my cheek against his shoulder, hoping not to interrupt him with an ill-timed fit of coughing. He explained how his ardour had mellowed over the years and that—oh my heart!—his thoughts always turned to me when in idle moments he drifted into fantasies of how his future might turn out. ‘A comfortable companionship’, he called it. His voice wobbled a bit when he said that... He really did let me into his most private thoughts the way I let him into mine. There was no subterfuge._

_We held each other for a while in silence, sipping our kanar, him stroking my hair—it really was very relaxing and felt better than I’d ever dared to hope it would in all my hours of_ _imagining_ _how this first moment of true, honest intimacy between us might be... And then he leaned over and kissed me. Gently, on the mouth. I never knew Human lips would be so soft! It really was delightful... Oh, how I had longed for this! This affectionate physical closeness! Not since adolescence had I been so closely intimate with a dear friend. Of course, I wrapped my arms around him, pulled him close and kissed him right back, pressing my tongue_ _between_ _his lips._

_This is where sobriety would have been useful, Elim... Yes, I know, but we may never have got to this point without the kanar, and how was I supposed to know Humans find that sort of kissing erotic? For Cardassians it’s an expression of deepening friendship—the kind of love ancient Earth philosophers called_ philia _. How could I have known it would cause the Doctor to start grinding his crotch into my hip in a most obscene display of overt sexuality? Humans really are very different from Cardiassians in that respect. In my haste to escape the vulgarity I leapt up from the sofa. But his face! Oh, he looked so wounded! It nearly broke my heart to think I’d caused him such pain, so I sat down again carefully and asked him as kindly as I could what was going on. He looked at me with such astonishment, like_ I _was the one who had behaved strangely! He stammered his reply that he thought I was trying to initiate foreplay. Imagine! With a friend! I retorted that I was initiating no such thing and asked how he could possibly think that. He explained that ‘making out’—what he calls the kind of long, open-mouthed kissing and exploration of each others’ bodies with our hands us Cardassians engage in with our closest friends—is an expression of lust in Humans! How we laughed! Apparently Doctor Bashir and I still have a lot to learn about each other._

_I doubled over—the Doctor was in fits too—the alcohol and our relief at resolving the tension conspiring to bring tears of mirth to our eyes... I missed the feel of him against me though, so when we had both caught our breath I slid close to him again and ran the backs of my fingers along his jaw. He responded with a touch of his fingertips to my brow ridge and I kissed him lightly on the lips... Foolish, Elim, you knew it was... Yes, but my need for closeness with my dear, dear Doctor after so long left me unable to think straight... But he pushed me away, gently, with his palms on my shoulders, explaining that he thought we should talk it over properly in the morning before we did anything one or both of us may regret... I felt my heart drop to my stomach at this, and he must have seen the hurt on my face—I couldn’t help feeling rejected—because he pulled me to his chest, kissed the top of my head, and spoke softly into my hair, saying that of course he wanted me, and no, it wasn’t because he didn’t care for me—I may have been wailing an incoherent string of anxieties into his shirt; the kanar has made my memory somewhat fuzzy—he reassured me he really did care for me—so much!—but that he didn’t want to hurt me and could we please not kiss on the lips again until we’d talked about this properly? And_ _then_ _he just held me while my sobbing subsided—Oh, he is such a_ good _man!_

_Once I was sufficiently calmed he ran a finger down my neck ridge and suggested we go to bed. He offered to sleep on the sofa, saying something about ‘being a gentleman’. Imagine! My dear friend relegated to the sofa! Cardassians have been sentenced to hard labour for less harsh treatment of a guest! Of course, I assured him I would entertain no such thing and that he must share my bed—such as it is, being a pallet on the floor in the back corner of my little shed—and he asked me the strangest question... Would I feel safe? My face was already arranging itself into my old reassuring smile and I opened my mouth to lie that ‘of course I would feel safe’, when I realised it was true: that lying down to sleep with Julian Bashir next to me would feel...safe. I took his hands in mine and looked into his eyes and nodded; no words would come to express the feeling of safety I hadn’t experienced since childhood._

_And now it’s_ _mor_ _ning, and we’re no-longer_ _inebriated_ _, and_ _—_ _Ah, the kettle is boiling_ _._ _Finally!_

_Elim, it’s time to make the tea, wake your dear Doctor and have that conversation about Humans and Cardassians... Go on, you can do it; you’re safe with him._

2- Julian Speaks

Garak, please. I’m an adult who is perfectly capable of respecting your boundaries and taking responsibility for my own actions and feelings.

No, you don’t ‘owe’ me anything! Nothing at all, ok? Ever. Not unless you genuinely want to. I don’t want you to do it just to please me. That would not be the basis for a consensual, loving... er, whatever we call this... us, I mean. Now, this is very important to me. Do you understand?

Good. No sex; no grinding my erection on your thigh—God, that’s embarrassing to say out loud—no kissing on the mouth without checking first; I will check in with you regularly to make sure you’re ok and you will try your best to tell me when you’re not; and you can ask to stop, slow down, or take a break at any time and I will respect that. Right?

Ok then, I think we can... is it ok if I put my hand here?

I... uh, I like the scales just here on your shoulder... so smooth.

Where’s that tea?

Thanks.

...

Garak, who’s that at the door?

 _Parmak?!_ You didn’t tell me you invited him this early!

No, don’t say he can come in! Can’t you at least close the door overnight?

I’m not dressed!

...

I apologise for my dishevelment, Kelas. Elim neglected to tell me you’d be dropping by so early. It is, however, lovely to meet you.

Ah yes, I do hope Garak hasn’t told you all my embarrassing secrets. Tea?

I understand you run a clinic in the centre of town. I would love to drop by and see how you do things if that’s ok?

Tomorrow? Garak, did you have any plans—?

Ok, tomorrow it is, then. Afternoon?

Alright then. I look forward to it.

...

Er, Garak, love. Do you think you could give me a bit more warning next time you’re expecting a visitor please? Say, ten minutes so I can get dressed?

Thanks... Oh and Garak?

At the door just now while we were saying goodby to Kelas, he whispered to me that he’d break my neck if I broke your heart.

Well, it’s a little threatening, don’t you think, hm?

His likes me? Really?

If you say so... Being around Cardassians is going to take some getting used to.

...

What’s this tree called?

And this?

My Cardassian really is terrible, I apologise. _An-ah-rah-d’t_... _An-ah-rah-d’t pir-ath_. Am I saying it correctly?

Thank you, but I’m sure you’re just trying to flatter me.

Is it edible?

Really?

Oh wow! Garak, this is delicious! Sort of... Oh, I don’t know, like no fruit I’ve ever tasted before.

Your garden really is wonderful, you know. You must work hard at it.

Ah, I see. So, its produce provides most of your diet? And where do you get protein?

Ew, ew. Garak, no! What is that? Is it a... vole? It’s enormous!

Alright. So, you trap them for food. That’s... _Urgh!_

I’m sorry Garak. I shouldn’t have reacted so badly to you showing me—I did ask after all—it’s just that Humans haven’t eaten meat from actual animals for over a century and I...er, I found it distasteful. I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to judge you on what you have to do to survive.

Thank you. I’m very sorry—I am.

Tonight? Yes, ok. Vole stew! Er... sounds delicious!

No, _really_ Garak. It’ll be lovely, I’m sure.

...

You know, I didn’t appreciate the magnitude of your memorial in the dark last night. It really is magnificent.

These pillars of rubble—they are quite striking the way the light hits them. And the orchids! Oh! Glorious.

No, don’t change the subject. I mean it Garak, you have made something truly special here.

You don’t accept praise well, do you? Is that a Cardassian thing or is it a _Garak_ thing?

Ok, just you. Perhaps I can help you work on your self esteem a bit?

Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you. Please come here. May I hug you?

Garak, I’m so sorry you feel that way about yourself. You really are very dear to me and I came all this way—76 light years!— just to see you, so perhaps you’re judging yourself a bit harshly?

Well, _I_ think you’re wonderful. Let’s go round the back to the garden again and you can show me your greenhouse.

...

Garak, that cough of yours—?

Would you just let me examine you? I have my med kit in my bag.

Ok, yes. When you’ve finished your work. What is it your doing, anyway?

An enjoinment dress? Hold it up so I can see it.

Garak... that is beautiful! She’s going to love it.

No, you can’t tell it’s re-used fabric at all. It looks... you really are very talented.

Now, about that cough... I’ll get my tricorder, shall I?

Ok! Five minutes, I promise. And I won’t get all _Starfleet medical_ on you. Just let me have a look?

Hmm.

There’s a lot of dust in your lungs, Garak. If we could get to a transporter I should able to scrub it out when you re-materialise.

Oh, ok. No transporters then. Does it hurt when you cough?

Can I give you something for the pain?

Here’s a hypospray. You should at least feel a little better in the next hour or so. Does the tickling irritate you?

Yes? Ok... let me find some—Ah, here it is. If you rub this on your chest it should ease the discomfort. Would you like me to...?

Put the scissors down please; and you’ll have to open your shirt. I’ll sit here in front of you and—.

It’s ok, warm Human hands, remember?

See? There, how does that feel?

Ok, ok! I don’t have to stop if you don’t want me to. I can just keep rubbing your chest until you’ve had enough. Here, put your head on my shoulder... Shhh... It’s ok, I’ve got you.

No, no need to apologise. There’s no shame in crying when one feels sad, Garak. There really isn’t.

Yes, I know. I’m sorry there isn’t the proper facility. This really would be quite simple to treat at a Federation establishment.

3- Elim Speaks

Yes, of course you can help dear! Are you sure though? you were _very_ squeamish about the vole earlier.

That’s so brave of you, Doctor!

No, I’m not teasing! Well... maybe a little. Will you peel these for me? The knife’s just over there.

Now Doctor, I need to skin our little furry friend here. I don’t want you fainting on me, so please avert your eyes. Humans do have quite delicate constitutions after all.

No, I can’t do it quietly! I’m sorry, but it’s a _physical_ business. Just... go outside and smell the orchids or something for ten minutes and I’ll have it done.

...

Doctor Bashir? Julian? You can come back in now. No more gore, I promise.

Oh my dear, you are rather pale! Would you like a glass of water?

I’m sorry, I should have anticipated this after your reaction to the vole trap this morning. I didn’t put you off dinner did I?

There are your Starfleet rations if you’d prefer something else?

No? Are you sure?

See, you _are_ my brave Doctor!

 _Very_ brave.

...

After we’ve finished eating I thought we might visit the baths, dear.

Oh, about a 20 minute walk away... And we can ask for cold water to soothe your delicate Human skin, hm?

I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

...

You are _funny_ , my dear.

Just get in the water and they’ll stop staring!

They don’t see off-worlders often and your anatomy is... different from ours. They’re interested, that’s all.

It’s because your genitals aren’t retracted, Doctor.

No, don’t hide under the towel! They’ll think you’re weak, and then they’ll try to mug you on your way home.

Don’t they retract at all, dear? 

Well! I learn something new every day! Ours are entirely retracted usually—as you can see—unless we are ready for coitus.

Oh, you Humans and your strange propriety! It is highly amusing!

Now, it’s not the done thing to make physical contact with one another at the baths, Doctor. Unless—of course—one is washing or massaging a friend.

Here, let me do your back.

It’s really not a sharp as it looks, dear... See? A hard scrub will take off that dead skin you Humans haul around with you.

Oh yes, how kind of you to offer. You really can be quite rough with my neck ridges. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being really _clean_ between the scales.

...

Did you enjoy our trip to the baths tonight, dear?

Well, perhaps I will install a shower in time for your next visit. I forget you humans like to perform your ablutions in private.

I am sorry it was such a traumatic experience for you. Really I am, but—oh!—your face when everyone was staring! You were quite the picture!

What is this _schadenfreude_? I’m unfamiliar with the term.

I disagree! I do not derive pleasure from your misfortune! How dare you suggest I do?

Ok, ok. I admit seeing you uncomfortable bought me a certain amount of gleeful satisfaction, but I assure you my dear, if I’d known it was going to be so upsetting for you I’d have heated some water here on the stove instead. I genuinely did not wish to humiliate you.

Really? You’d go again? _Why_?

Oh, ok. Would knowing what to expect make it better?

I’ll try to remember that when we visit new places while you’re here.

...

Dear?

I would like a hug please.

Would you stroke my hair?

Yes, like that. Thank you.

...

Um, Doctor?

You asked me last night if I’d feel safe with you sleeping in my bed. I... um... I want you to know that I haven’t felt this safe since before Bamarren.

Yes. I did warn you in my letter that I’m a needy old man.

I’m glad it’s ok with you, my dear. Very glad indeed.


End file.
